It seems impossible to believe – but no one really teaches us how to set healthy boundaries. In fact, in my counseling practice, most people aren’t really clear on what the phrase “healthy boundaries” even means.
So, to clarify –“healthy boundaries” are:
the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others.
The unfortunate result of not realizing that we have right to set boundaries in our own lives is that we end up accepting things that don’t serve us, inadvertently keeping others in the dark about what we really want, and eventually falling prey to feelings of resentment ourselves.
Perhaps the one misconception that keeps people stuck in this dynamic is that they equate setting boundaries with creating conflict – and so they stuff their feelings in an effort to keep the peace.
However, setting healthy boundaries isn’t about creating chaos – it’s about avoiding it. Boundaries stated in a calm and loving way not only honors ourselves, but keeps us from falling into a pattern of codependency. Gently speaking our truth invites others in our lives to show up in shared responsibility. And when we’re happier, our relationships are happier.
So, ask yourself, what are some areas in your life where you’d like to set a healthy boundary?
Wise Counseling, Inc. offers both individual and couples counseling aimed at empowering you to create your greatest quality of life. We also specialize in EMDR Therapy to help you address past trauma – and break free from unhealthy life patterns. Offices in both Fort Myers and Naples. Please allow us to be your partner in wellness.